I have jury duty the same day my kids start school on August 24. I tried to get out of it and was de-NIED. Apparently, "I have no one to take my kids to school, no one to pick them up, no one to watch them after school, and no one to homeschool them on Fridays," is not a good enough reason for the courts.
Don't get me wrong, I'd love to serve on a trial but perhaps when my kids are older, out of the house, and don't need to learn their alphabet or multiplication tables.
So, a good online friend named Jen gave me some advice: "You could try telling them you're a Republican. That would instantly categorize you as an un-American racist...at least if the DA is a fan of Nancy Pelosi."
I like that. It's as un-American as my apple pie and I can't find my sickle to slice it.
Here's another response from another online friend named John: "If you're on the jury for a murder trial, there are sets of questions for prospective jurors. One is 'Do you favor the death penalty?' Instead of checking yes or no, I write in 'Regular' or 'Extra crispy' and check the latter." He also adds, "It's amazing that 'civic duty' is never calendar-friendly."
So I think I'll try John's advice, which oddly puts me in the mood for KFC.
UPDATE: I finally got through to a live person and postponed my service until a school vacation. Fantastic. Funny thing is, though, when I had a desk job and no kids I simply claimed "financial hardship" and got out, no questions asked. Now that I have kids and no job, I report. I have a feeling karma will catch up with the court system. They will babysit my kids while I'm in court. They will send me home in no time flat.
I am the IRON JESTER simple as 3.14159265. In my senior high school English class, we were assigned groups to write a soap opera. The group next to mine wrote me as a character. Instead of using my real name, Terri Fortney, they penned "Very Distortney." I took it as a dig then but now it's the highest compliment.